Negotiation is one of those processes that we go through in our life without even realizing that we are doing it. In economics, for instance, it manifests itself as opportunity cost. Think about it, what would you be doing if you weren’t reading this post? How did you decide to not do that and read the post instead? You arrived at that decision by making a decision to turn one thing down and accept another which seemed to meet your interest.
It is not just interest that makes it easy for one to negotiate, there is also the matter of power. Power is the ability to influence. Now whether it’s influencing your own choice or other people’s choices power does it. The amount of power one has in a negotiation and how that helps them to negotiate will depend on their position in that negotiation context.
The ability to walk away is key to demonstrating your position and interest. This means among other things that you are not that desperate for the deal; it means you can say no.
Why say no?
When you are in a negotiation and can say NO it simply means that unlike most people who try to negotiate and fail, you have just identified your walk away position. This is what, according to Roger Fisher and William Ury in the bestseller, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Without Giving In¸ is known as BATNA best alternative to negotiated agreement. Put in another way it is the best you can do when the other party makes you a deal you are not interested in… you tell them to “get lost”
Being able to say no doesn’t mean that you are happy remember you had an interest when you walked in that negotiation, it just means that you are not going to let the other party give you what you don’t want in exchange for what they actually want from you. Just as you have interest, they also have one of their own
With negotiations what typically happens is you have your point under which you cannot go, assuming you have clearly defined that point, and the other party has their point too. So, the difference between these two points is where you find your Zone of Potential Agreement (ZOPA). But depending on how adversarial the other party is, they will try to push you to go beyond your point that way they can maximize on the return they get from the negotiation, so you can see how your inability to say no can make you lose.
Imagine if it is your boss who makes you do what you don’t want to do in the office and since you are scared of being fired, which just means you don’t have leverage, you end up doing it. The question then is how long are you planning to be in that position and put up with such? The same can be said about relationship with your significant other or just about any situation where you negotiate.
Conclusion
Learn to say no. Ensure you have a point at which you can always walk away or else you will not succeed in any given negotiation. Remember the reason for negotiation is always to get something better than the outcome you would have otherwise got had you not negotiated, and so what are those results? What are the alternatives? This is where no becomes a powerful tool!
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